Dealing with Setbacks & Overcoming Them
- kylieconroy7
- Mar 23, 2023
- 8 min read
Updated: Aug 30, 2023
The comeback is always greater than the setback... and that is no lie to just keep you going February 1st 2023 April 8th 2023
Nobody likes setbacks. Setbacks feel like the ultimate end of the world. Most people feel like they are stuck, and the feelings can lead some to even feel like there may be no way around the setback.
But what people need to remember is that a setback is the ultimate character and strength builder. The key is to Look at a setback like it's a speed bump in the road. It's a little bump that slows us down, but we do eventually get over it.
While some setbacks may be more of a roadblock, and we may need to find a new route to get to where we are trying to go, we eventually get there. And maybe that new route showed us something we may have not been able to see or experience going the normal route.
Follow along as I share a few things I learned about overcoming hard times and setbacks.
My Super Fun Stress Fracture
Injuries are not fun no matter who you are.
They are debilitating.
For many athletes, injuries are everyone's worst nightmare.
Most people would rather push through pain than deal with the emotional consequences of sitting on the sidelines. It's frustrating, disappointing, and numbing. There is not much you can do for the most part, but rest and recover.
I'm a victim of this so-called "injury" depression.
In January coming back from winter break for the First Time in a while I started to feel like myself again.
I felt a huge switch in mindset and work ethic and started to see this work I put in slowly start to transition into my runs and workouts. I started to feel the progress building and knew good things were going to come from this hard work. But, before any of that could show and rise to the surface, a stress fracture decided to pop out of nowhere.
Right before I came back from break I did my usual 10-mile long run but instead, I had a weird feeling in my calf following it. I tried to roll it out and ice it but I felt like it wasn't going away.
coming back to school I was fine for the most part until one Thursday training run on a trail my team refers to as "upper tibs", which left me limping back to school with tears down my face. I knew something was actually wrong now.
Following this run for 2 weeks, I couldn't sleep or go through the day without loading up on Advil.
When I tell you this, I say with no exaggeration that the pain I felt at night in my shin was as if satan was squeezing the inside of my bones as hard as he could. Like hell.
At first, I didn't even know my injury was a stress fracture. Instead, I was left confused and lost. I had no answer of what was even wrong, which for that matter made it worse. I tried so hard to be positive during this time, but it was really hard when I was in pain both physically and mentally.
I felt alone, even though I had people to talk to. Because it seemed like no one really understood how difficult it was when I didn't even have a direct answer.
I thought that when I finally had a straight-up diagnosis I would feel at ease even though the whole time I deep down knew it was a stress fracture.
But being told it was a stress fracture, along with being placed in a boot for a month and out of running "probably for the rest of the indoor and outdoor season" didn't ease any of the pain I felt inside. In fact, I felt even worse.
It would be a lie to say that I was not emotionally devastated about this. I felt lost, and confused but through it all, I got by, I got through it and I learned and grew a lot from this.
Letting Yourself Feel Your Emotions
Feeling emotions is relatively important.
When things in life get hard many people try to hide their emotions or push them down and mask their emotions for the benefit of others around them.
I for one am seen as a happy positive person, so, for the most part, it's easy to tell when something is wrong with me. and for that matter when something is really wrong it's even easier to tell. I found myself trying to hold in a lot of what I was feeling because I felt like I didn't deserve to be this upset about something that didn't seem that big to other people, but that's my problem, I just felt worse.
When we hold in what we are feeling and pretend to be what other people expect us to be, it tends to hit us like a wave before we know it. The flood of those blockaded emotions drips out, and then the flood escapes and we find ourselves drowning.
and that's exactly how I felt. like I was drowning.
I finally stopped hiding my emotions and let myself feel them more and be disappointed and upset, but I didn't want that to stop me from focusing on the bigger goal. I didn't wanna let myself wallow or feel sorry for myself. instead, I turned those negative disappointing drowning emotions I was feeling into motivation.
Do the things you can do and stay positive
Every day I would get on the bike or the elliptic wanting to cry because I would watch my teammates go and leave for their runs. I wished I was beside them walking out that door.
Instead...
I would limp over to the bike and take my boot off.
Put my other shoe on
Step on the bike
and start my watch.
60 minutes of trying to find a positive podcast that would tell me everything would be alright.
A lot of different thoughts and emotions flooded my brain during those 60+ minutes. Some were good and some were bad, but the ones that stuck with me the most were when I told myself I would never take another run again for granted. Or cut a run short because I was tired because I would force myself to think back to when I was on that bike wishing and begging to be running with my teammates.
Some things I did do:
- Lift - the upper body of course and I usually hate the upper body so this was a fun challenge for one I certainly feel a difference in my upper body strength
- Biking and cross-training all that I could without pushing myself too hard
- Made the most out of cross-training!
- working on my mental health- journaling and manifesting my goals
- Therapy!! or even just talking about my feelings to my teammate's friends and boyfriend... I genuinely think talking to my therapist was one of the main reasons I was able to mentally get through this injury.. because I absolutely love her she is a queen
- Work on my eating habits... this was one of the hardest things I had to do especially working on this while being injured. but probably the most important one that would prevent me from getting injured even more or again in the future
- Rested as much as I could: I didn't go out any more than I would have been while running because I really wanted to focus on my recovery as much as I could and didn't want stupid decisions to get in the way of that
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Do not take anything for granted
I said so many times to myself over and over again that once I started running again I would never complain. I would fall asleep at night thinking in my head what it would feel like to just be able to race on the track. and how I would give it all just to be able to do that again.
We don't really think about how lucky we are in the moments when life is passing us by.
Gratitude is one of the biggest things I have learned and have been practicing more these past few months.
To live each day we are truly blessed.
I practiced gratitude as much as I could during these weeks by trying to remember the things I was grateful for and all that I did have in my life even if running wasn't one of them.
and that was the biggest motivator to keep me going and not giving up because I knew how grateful I was going to be able to run that first run back.
Surely, this gratitude thing was a bit of a struggle though I wasn't perfect with it.
when I did finally get my boot off I was so happy.
I thought for some reason I would be back to running the second that boot was officially off of me.
but instead, I handed a sheet with 4-5 phases on them, of "returning back to running plan"...
The second this was placed in my fingertips my mind slipped of the fact that I finally was able to wear two shoes because "Why the hell Is this so dragged out, I thought I would be racing at Mets... I told myself that's when I would be racing... and following this my season is over..."
I was frustrated because I was more than ready to get right back into things. I didn't wanna be patient.
I was mad and wanted to race.
I told myself so many times that my goal was to race at Mets
I would tell myself this and other people over and over again.
whether they believed me or not I knew I would.
I knew I was capable of racing a relay.
I forced myself to do what I could even if that was walking around the track for 5 mins and running for 1 minute repeating that 5 times.
then counting that for 2 weeks going up to 2 minutes of running then 3 minutes of running then 4 then 5...
I forced myself to be grateful for those minutes no matter what because I was back on my feet for what it was worth at the time.
That first real run back was like no other run imagined.
I remember texting all my friends with a huge smile on my face that I just ran 4 miles without pain.
that feeling was like no other and for that matter, I didn't even feel like I was out for months.
the progression went on, running mileage increased and finally, workouts were added in
and I had my first race back.
I kept telling myself in February that I wanted to race a relay at outdoor Mets.
For proof of this here Is my super embarrassing journal entry manifesting this goal for myself...
I surpassed this goal of mine. Not only was I given an opportunity to run a relay but I ran an open 800m as well.
I was seeded in the slowest heat but I told myself I would win that heat and I did, by a whole 8-9 seconds.
It was the race I needed because it made me ready and hungry for more.
What did you learn?
I think that my getting a stress fracture was a blessing in disguise in so many ways.
I learned to be more patient.
I learned that things are in my control and when they aren't I just have to keep pushing to get there.
The trainers were annoying. I didn't know what was wrong at first but I could control the way I handle things.
instead of controlling things the old me would be controlling my eating, I controlled the things I could control like doing what I could.
I didn't go out. and go wild. I focused on what I could. I put a lot into cross-training. stretching. resting. mental health-wise. trying really hard to treat my body kindly. I didn't work through everything but I think I reached a turning point in many ways mentally.
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